09Jul
I have sometimes been told at times that I am a strong woman and I never really know what to make of this. Using the word ‘strong’ in this context is a bit like using the word ‘nice’ I think – you don’t really know what it really means. When I hear it, I assume that it is some sort of compliment, but I am not quite sure what to make of it, since I mostly don’t think of myself as strong, or weak. I am certain I am not being complimented for my physical strength, but I wonder whether my resilience, resourcefulness and endurance are being noted? Or is it more to do with an ability to speak my mind fearlessly and ask the difficult questions when no one else will? Anyway, it got me thinking about what other women would make of the term, so I invited a few of my female friends and colleagues to respond to the following questions:
What characterises a strong woman?
What examples can you share of strong women?
How can women become stronger?
Can being strong as a woman become a weakness?
What characterises a strong woman?
This was the question I got the most responses to and I was surprised by how varied these were. You may identify with some or none of the following:
“A strong woman is someone who is confident about who she is and is able to love herself. She may have strong convictions, but is able to be flexible, admit her mistakes and be gentle in her dealings with others.”
“A strong woman is one who is comfortable in her own skin, she accepts and is content with who she is. She does not feel the need to prove herself in any situation. She is comfortable with being just a listener and observer. She speaks to air her convictions rather than speak for the sake of ‘being heard’. She does not crave attention but is happy to be in the background to support but is also capable of playing her role in the spotlight when she feels the need arises.”
“I think what makes any person strong (male or female) is an unwavering conviction in who you are and how you navigate the world (underpinned by your core values, beliefs and goals). And having a sense that you have worth as a person, primarily derived by feeling loved by family, friends and God (for those of faith!).”
“A strong woman is not afraid of doing what she wants, follows her passion and is not afraid of what people think of her. She is someone to look up to, and is a mentor for others, but also caring and kind. She understands deeply.”
“A strong woman is a people person: accessible, easy to deal with and inspires others to achieve their best. She is prepared to stand up for herself and others, and speak out. She brings people together and fosters good relationships.”
“A woman is strong when she is heard and what she thinks is right at any one point in time is believed.”
“I guess strength is only ever noticed or tested at tough times. When we are in a comfortable situation, it is hidden or dormant. Or is it another way of saying we are managing stress, coping etc. Is it something we only recognise by an absence of other external signs of stress?”
“I figure that emotions are like a pendulum. As strong as you can be at one end is as weak as you can be at the other. We live in world of duality so to know one, we need to know the other.” While physical strength and fitness may be the concepts that are most often referred to when we talk of a strong man, it is clearly more often meant as an expression of character when it is applied to a woman.
-Independence and autonomy
-Conviction and confidence
-Outspokenness and fearlessness in the face of challenges
-Perseverance and endurance
-Power and control
How can women become stronger?
“I think women can become stronger if they stop being their own worst critic and start believing in themselves."
“By not allowing the pressure to adopt a certain persona for any given situation. Stop feeling the need to prove themselves. Know themselves and accept their perfections and their flaws – and to believe that their unique experiences can make a valuable contribution to any situation."Both these responses suggest that self-acceptance and self-belief are essential criteria to a woman’s inner strength. For some women, the family and friends who love them strengthen their sense of acceptance and belief; for other women, their strength is founded on a living faith and relationship with God; and still other women draw on their personal achievements as a strength that drives them to greater accomplishments. I would be incredulous if there were a ‘one size fits all’ approach to building up a woman’s strength; it must depend on personal circumstances and I would always encourage women to find and rely on what works for them at that particular time of their lives.
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